Sue's Corner
by Chancler Adams
Summary: This is a constantly updated collection of Sue's Corner quips. Be Aware! :-
1. Wheelchair Ramps Are DeBeautifying

This is a disclaimer that is indicating I do not own rights to Sue Sylvester or anything associated with her or her association with Glee. These are fictional reenactments of topics I assume she would discuss on her portion of the nightly news broadcast. These are not personal opinions of mine, they are completing generated for comical purposes. So laugh, in this economy it's the only thing that's free!

Wheelchair Ramps Are De-Beautifying the Country By: Sue Sylvester

"I believe the degradation of our prodigious country lay soling in the laps of paraplegics and their only source of mobility. Wheelchair ramps are popping up all over the country for what may seem like a convenient opportunity to attract more business. Well I'm here to tell that is not the case! Wheelchair ramps, once used to allow monstrosities in wheelchairs to assimilate into normal society, now are being used to cause morbid obesity, less economic stimulation and the increasing demand for more fabric to make larger sweat suits for you fatties. Wheelchair ramps are causing massive genocides on the bovine population, for reasons of producing steaks and bigger leather jackets for the rotund. Fabric weavers around the world are working overtime to produce more fabric for you to be able to let out and expand your current wardrobe. Small Asian children in sweatshops are working overtime to produce larger clothes for those choosing to walk up a ramp and not participate as an American and take the stairs, which is our emancipated right. You remember every time you take a step onto a wheelchair ramp you are not only allowing your thighs to spread wider, you are also causing those children to work harder to make your extended sized jeans which could possibly be killing them. So you are not only killing valuable members of the worlds work force, you are also a terrorist for not partaking in your patriotic right of using the stairs and for that you must be punished. And that's how Sue C's it!"

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	2. Allowing Illegal Immigration

This is a disclaimer that is indicating I do not own rights to Sue Sylvester or anything associated with her or her association with Glee. These are fictional reenactments of topics I assume she would discuss on her portion of the nightly news broadcast. These are not personal opinions of mine, they are completing generated for comical purposes. So laugh, in this economy it's the only thing that's free!

Allowing Illegal Immigrations – By: Sue Sylvester

"I guess I don't fathom why so many people frown upon Illegal Immigration in this country. I know some of you out there say that they are taking away jobs from the American population, but let's be honest folks, how many of you are praying to your God daily for a chance to dry clean my soiled under garments? I for one believe that we should be more excepting of the people who are willing to sort through the grit and the grime of greenhouses and landfills and allow the actual citizens of this country to perform the jobs that keep the country from cascading into a miserable abyss. If we had stricter laws on immigration I wouldn't have a maid staff and gardener to maintenance my home the proper way. I am not saying that I believe that illegal immigrants only work in the low end jobs that others are too embarrassed to work; I also think that they come here to sell drugs to our youth as well and lets be honest we need something to keep the police force working and away from unpaid furloughs. But good or bad, they are welcome in my book! And that's how Sue C's it!"


	3. Pass IQ Test

This is a disclaimer that is indicating I do not own rights to Sue Sylvester or anything associated with her or her association with Glee. These are fictional reenactments of topics I assume she would discuss on her portion of the nightly news broadcast. These are not personal opinions of mine, they are completing generated for comical purposes. So laugh, in this economy it's the only thing that's free!

Pass IQ Test To Occupy The Earth By: Sue Sylvester

"I for one believe that we should not be allowed to traipse around this world without being able to pass an IQ test with a score less than 185. I know I have set my standards high in this case, but I can't stand walking down the sidewalk with these Neanderthals drooling down their own shoulder trying to interact with actual human beings. I'm serious folks; I don't think that my request is too absurd. If you are not able to comprehend the normal things such as stock exchange, mortgage escrow, reading a map or the widely popular rock band, than I believe you should be placed in a noose high in your town square and the floor should be let out beneath you. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying this to off the mentally handicap, that would not be appropriate. We will take all of the clinically insane and mentally handicap and allow them to wreak havoc on each other in one of the fenced in square states. I know this may sound harsh, but can you imagine never dealing with someone that sounds like Macy Gray ever again. It is a dream that I believe will one day come to fruition. And that's how Sue C's it!"


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